Screaming into the silence

That's what I feel like I'm doing right now. There's so much inside me. It hurts so much. Maybe as bad as it's ever been. I'm screaming, but no one can hear me. No one can understand. I don't know how to say it any different, and they don't know how to understand. And so I'm just screaming into the painful, empty, silence.

It has to stop. I have to stop.

I have to stop thinking I'll ever get to feel good. That I'll ever get to enjoy life. I feel like death. I knew it was coming and every time it's worse. Why do I even bother?

Testing...

Just playing around with blogger right now. Making sure I can get this to somewhere I feel safer before I start posting for real again. But I really miss having somewhere to write.